E3 2009: Our Mom Says We’re Handsome

by Scott Lydon

A town like L.A. eats people. It takes their dreams and makes them into hamburger. And not Black Angus hamburger, but rather the processed patties that come ten to a package and wind up in school lunchrooms.

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All Scott wanted to do was see a show while he was in town. Maybe his charisma score isn’t the highest, but he’s always thought of himself as a nice enough guy.

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“Maybe it’s a cat thing,” Scott told himself. But it isn’t a cat thing. It’s this town. This town changes people. It might be all smiles on the silver screen, but in real life, this cesspool is the overlap of two different worlds.

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And if you don’t have a trust fund, they won’t even get out of the car.

Forget it, Jake, it’s E3 town. Our E3 coverage continues. Like tears in the rain.