Energizer Universal Mega Cell Battery Pack

by Wootbot

Dating Tips

It was so hard to find beautiful women who I have something in common with. I like music, sports, and movies; they like pepper spray and restraining orders.

I mean, I consider myself a person of deep integrity and substance and sensitivity, someone who honestly seeks a genuine connection with a kindred soul. So why should I settle for ugly chicks?

Then I found something that worked like The Game and Axe Body Spray rolled into one: the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack. I haven’t found a supermodel, regular model, aspiring model, or former model yet who doesn’t appreciate versatile and portable power for their mobile devices. Just charge it up at an AC outlet and you’re carrying around enough juice for up to 6 extra hours of laptop use, 112 more hours of cell phone talk time, or 540 additional hours of MP3 playback. It includes 15 tips for use with a wide range of phones, laptops, and other devices, including the iPhone. And if none of them are compatible with your specific device, Xpal will send you up to two tips per year for the cost of shipping. I’m not even a chick, and this thing is making me hot for myself.

When I told this super-fine barmaid that the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack could charge three devices at once, she spelled out her number on the bar with lime-peel curls. The last time I’d tried talking to her, she’d tased me. But she’s tasing a whole new tune now, believe me.

It was like that all over town. The difference was night and day. One minute I’m a cold stiff, the next I’m hot stuff – and I owe it all to the Energizer Universal 18000 mAh Battery Pack. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend that unexpected inheritance from my long-lost billionaire uncle.

Warranty: 3 Year Energizer


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