Global 4GB MP4 Player w/2.8" Touchscreen

by wootbot

Noooooooo

Supports MP3, AVI, JPEG, TXT and, wouldn't you know it? WMA files too. Haven't you ever been curious about what the WMA lifestyle offers?

There's a moment in The Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader says JOIN ME to a frightened Luke Skywalker. JOIN ME AND WE CAN DEFEAT THE EMPEROR TOGETHER. And, really, if you think about it- that would have been a MUCH more efficient plan. Two dudes versus one old dude? No matter who wins, it's gonna be cheaper than an intergalactic battle and a raid on Teddy Bear HQ.

Why do we bring this up? Well, because it's time you considered ALL your options. Sure, an iPod's great, but can it play AVI? Can it handle WMA? Pretty sure that answer's no, young Skywalker. Pretty sure there's a better way.

Now, we're not asking you to give up anything, not really. You'll still be able to read TXT files and listen to MP3s and ogle TIFFs and such. But you'll be adding on a few other powers too. You know, like when you learn "Force Choke" instead of "Jedi Jogging" or whatever stupid hug-based power the Light Side has. And there's even an SD slot in case you want to expand and grow. Two words, incidentally, you'll NEVER hear at a Jedi business meeting.

Hey, we're not saying you can't still walk around with your fancy white-knight looking player in public. But in secret? Why NOT have WMA and AVI capabilities? It never hurts to diversify. Come, take my hand, and we can rule the media world as father and son! Yes! That's right! I spoiled a thirty-five year old movie! Welcome to the Dark Side! MUHAHAHAHA