One of those rare occasions where coming across a piranha is a welcome encounter.
So there I was, trying to escape the jungle. It was me, the trees, and the humidity that stuck to my back. Birds chirped in the background. Flies swarmed around my body. I hadn't had food or water in days.
As my energy waned, I knew I had to keep my spirits up. It was me or the jungle. Only one of us was going to win. It was a long while before I was going to find a way out, so I needed to nourish myself, and I needed to quickly.
But then I stumbled. I fell to a crawl, but I pushed ahead, my stomach churning, my head feeling light. I was desperate. I thought I had lost. I thought I was going to die there. But then, do you know what I saw? A piranha! Goodness me! Right there in front of my eyes, staring at me, almost mocking me. What was I to do? Well, I'll tell you what I did.
I grabbed it with the remaining strength in my bare hand. I raised it to my mouth and bit into it with my teeth. I then sucked every remaining drop of water out of it, clutching it in my grasp as I did so. I then yelled out, letting the jungle know I was king.
"That's impressive, Stu, but do you think you could've told the kids that the piranha was actually just a backpack?"
Not just a backpack...
"Fine. A High Sierra Piranha Hydration Pack."