Cheaper Than A Therapist
Tape a cut-out of your face to the TV and become the hero.
We all need an ego boost now and then -- especially us megalomaniacs. It can be hard to find someone who will inundate you with a near-constant stream of positive affirmation. That's why I turned to my TV. Or, more specifically, my 42" Hisense TV with a picture of myself taped to the screen. I call it FaceTape Technology, and it's poised to revolutionize the way we experience personal validation.
How does FaceTape work, you ask? Say I'm watching Happy Days (as I'm wont to do) when The Fonz does something super cool and everybody loves him. But what I see is MY HEAD on The Fonz's body, so it's ME doing the super cool thing and being beloved. Oh man, even thinking about it now makes me feel all warm inside.
What's great about this system is that it works for almost anything. I'm watching the Marlins game on the TV's full-HD 1080p screen, and Giancarlo Stanton hits a majestic 500ft home run to left center. But thanks to FaceTape Technology it's THIS GUY who receives the adoration of the South Florida masses (I'm pointing at myself, BTW).
With the TV's 3 HDMI inputs, I can apply FaceTape Technology to almost anything. Who's that handsome man defeating Bowser? It's-a-me! David After Dentist? More like ME After Dentist! Everybody loves me all the time thanks to FaceTape.
The only trick is to de-activate your FaceTape module while watching The History Channel during WWII week…