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HOW TO PET A CAT

by John Osebold

Who on the internet doesn't like cats? Put your hand down, Carl. HOW TO PET A CAT​.

1. locate cat

2. 

3. this could take a while

4. ok there's one

5. put your hand out

6. this one's not going for it

7. let's wait for another cat

8.

9. ok this one's friendly

10. now, lightly scratch the head

11. oh ho ho yeah, this one loves it

12. now BIG pet along the back

13. purring like a motor!

14. so just don't pet it the opposite direction

15. OH MY GOD

16. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT

17. HOLY CRAP YOUR FACE

18. I'M CALLING 9-1-1

19. AAAH IT BIT ME

20. IT'S GOT MY PHONE

21. IT......IT ATE MY PHONE

22. YOU DEMON FROM HELL, HOW DARE—OH NO IT'S GOT A CROSSBOW

23. RUN! SAVE YOURSELF, RUN! R—

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