HP 27" WQHD LED-Backlit IPS Monitor

by wootbot

Subtle, Ain't It?

You'll enjoy this monitor to the fullest! Assuming Frankie, Carmine and Carl let you.

Oh, good, my HP Monitor has arrived. Wait, who are you guys?

I'm Frankie. This is Carmine. This is Carl. Pleased to meet you.

Likewise. So, uh... what's up?

Oh, nothing. We're just here to help you use your monitor.

Oh, the one I already paid for?

Yeah. But, see, there's also this "express" option that's kind of popular these days.

I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

We (that is to say, Frankie, Carmine and Carl) believe it offers you a better and richer experience overall.

Okay, um... what is the "express" option?

You give Carmine twenty bucks every time you want to look at your HP Monitor's high-performance LCD display.

That seems to have no benefit for me.

Well, you might enjoy it more than the normal option.

What's the normal option?

You don't pay, and Carl pushes the Off button after five seconds of use. And then you'll never get to enjoy how lovely everything looks on this HP Monitor's 16:9 aspect ratio, 1000:1 contrast ratio screen. Really, you'll want to pay up.

What if I just ask you to leave so I can use my HP Monitor in peace?

Hahahaha! Hey, Carmine and Carl! Did you hear that? Ask us to leave! Hahahahaha! We got a joker over here! Kid, if we leave, who's gonna help you use the 4-port USB 2.0 Hub?

Maybe I could figure it out myself? Or maybe get someone else around here to do it instead?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SOMEONE ELSE! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, boy, you should be an online comedian! Which, by the way, would require you to pay us a small fee for every HP Monitor that we detected coming to read your jokes. Or else we'd turn them all off too.

You know, this business model sounds kind of familiar to me...

Yeah, we get that a lot. Now you got Carmine's money? Or is Carl gonna need to get out his button-pushing gloves?

Do I pay a service charge for the gloves if he does that?

Whoa, fellas! Did you hear that? This kid's a natural! Hey, you want a job? We could use an idea machine like you.