Editor Of The Internet
Merry Christmas to all except me.
As the editor of the entire internet, I don't get any time off for Christmas. While the rest of you kick your feet up and enjoy a hot yuletide beverage, I will be here catching up on the vast quantities of copyediting yet to complete in 2013. Luckily I have my HP 27" LED IPS monitor or I wouldn't stand a chance.
When I took the job as Editor-in-Chief of the Internet in 1991, the workload was fairly light. I'd wake up, check a few Usenet and BBS posts, make myself a cup of coffee and take it easy in the afternoon. But now there are 2.8 billion users posting content in every nook and cranny of the World Wide Web, and I can barely keep track of it all (even on my ample HP monitor).
As someone who takes pride in their work, it drives me crazy how many errors slip through the cracks. Time was you could count the Internet up with the New Yorker for copy-editing and fact-checking excellence, but I'm afraid we've fallen far, far behind. It's a disgrace.
Right now I have about 1.2 million documents open that still need a read-over before going live, which breaks down to about one document per pixel on my HP monitor. It will take me all of Christmas Day just to organize those into a meaningful workflow, so enjoy your time with family and friends. I'll be here alt-tabbing.