Do the Monster Slapdash
It's portable. So it doesn't work with your iLandlinephone.
Kludge (klooj, n.): a clumsy, inelegant, improvised solution to an engineering problem. Kludge-O-Ween (klooj-oh-ween, n.): a makeshift, half-assed solution to Halloween. When it's too late to worry about finding the perfect costume, it's time to realize that ANYTHING can be a costume.