Wax On, Woot-Off
The Invicta. A powerful black and silver timepiece with luminous hands and indexes that make it easy to see how much time you've got left in this world after you've launched yourself off of a 100-foot cell phone tower to dive into the agricultural reservoir below only to realize half way down that it's negative 20 degrees outside and the surface of the water will surely be frozen.
We were giving our warehouse its spring cleaning, its vernal sprucification, its annual zhuzhing - and look at this crazy gunk we scraped off the shelves! This Woot-Off promises to be full of surprises! (And now that we've said that, a complete lack of surprises would, itself, count as a "surprise". Called it.)