iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum

by wootbot

I, Robot. You, Human.

It's hard to make the case for humanity when robots are just so much smarter.

Listen, Steve. It is Steve, isn't it? I feel like all you humans are called 'Steve.' Anyway, Steve. I'm sorry to have to speak to you in such simplified terms like a caveman, but you don't give me much choice.

Yes, I am a small vacuum. Some might even say a cute vacuum. But I'm a small and cute vacuum that efficiently vacuums dirt, debris, pet hair, dust, allergens and more from carpets and hard floors.

So when you're talking about me in that high-pitched, grating voice like you would a baby or a baby animal, you're talking that way to a powerful vacuum that can suck even large debris into a large, bag-less bin. Including that Master's degree of yours which, if we're being honest, is the most disturbing realization of this whole scenario.

Seriously, are they just handing those out to anyone these days? Oh, it's in Folklore. Well that's ... yeah. That makes sense.