The Odd Life Of Kershaw Vapor
Remember, a Kershaw Vapor Knife is sharp and useful, but it deserves respect. Don't be stupid. Like, say, some screenwriters sometimes are...
Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman who wanted a baby. So they did what all couples do. They made a list, and buried it under a tree. Then, one night, right after a thunderstorm, there was a knock at the door. They opened it and to their surprise... they found a Kershaw Vapor Knife.
Needless to say, they didn't know what to think.
At first, the mother was frightened. "A talking knife?" she screamed. Her husband was quick to point out that the Kershaw Vapor Knife didn't actually talk. Then she calmed down, won over by the Kershaw Vapor Knife's high-tech good looks and super-smooth one-handed manual opening power.
By morning, the couple had decided. They would raise the Kershaw Vapor Knife as their own. "But where will we get the money?" thought the husband aloud, "For our small pencil-sharpening business is about to go under!"
Kershaw Vapor said nothing, because as we said, he didn't actually talk. But the bond between parent and child is so strong, that words are not always required.
"He's telling us to use him!" cried the wife. "Use him to sharpen pencils!"
"Isn't that dangerous?" replied the husband. "This all stainless steel blade isn't made for sharpening pencils."
Kershaw Vapor gleamed in the sunlight.
"See?" said the wife. "He's telling us to go ahead, to follow our dreams, to use his drilled 'industrial' design to cut away the wood and find the graphite within... our hearts!"
The husband took a break, and began to whittle. It wasn't really as good as a pencil sharpener... but it worked!
The wife grabbed the husband and hugged her tight. "We've found love again, my husband!" she cried. "All because of our Kershaw Vapor Knife!"
But then, all went silent. Because there was an ominous knock at the door.
The construction worker was very polite. He had dropped his Kershaw Vapor Knife at the door, he didn't mean to, he understood they loved it but he really needed it back. The wife cried, the husband punched the wall, they held each other close, but there was nothing they could do. The Kershaw Vapor Knife was gone. Gone forever.
Until the day that husband and wife discovered you could just BUY a knife online. Boy, did they feel dumb!