KitchenAid Stand Mixer - 10 Colors

by wootbot

Food Coma

Can't blame the tools.

With top-quality tools like this KitchenAid stand mixer, you can make just about anything! Here's one of Woot's favorite recipes. Bon appétit!

Gnyquil Gnocchi

A delicious romp through torpidity. Makes a great fork supper. Serves 2 or 7.


1 heavy cold

1 productive cough

4 bananas, tender

Store-bought pie crust of your choosing

8 cups of table salt

2 clammy hands

5 oz crab meat (smooth)

42 km moon soil (substitute with non-dairy whipped topping if religiously necessary.)


1. To Preheat: Check your temperature. If you have a fever, croak pathetically at your spouse that this is the sickest you have ever been, without question.

2. Let sit on couch for 7 minutes before falling deep into a fever dream. Add crab meat.

3. Combine bananas, table salt, and pop icon David Bowie in large bowl. Use your KitchenAid 5-quart stand mixer to stir well. By the way, your mother’s at the door and she has the feet of a duck.

4. Leave overnight.

5. Wake up in puddle of drool. Rotate. Repeat step 1 for flavor.

6. Cover with pie crust. Cough to taste and enjoy.