LED Lenser Flashlight (3 Choices)

by wootbot

Bright Lights, Big Savings

In a world of darkness... light and love found a way.

A good movie would be about a guy who meets an LED Lenser Flashlight. They hate each other at first. The guy is always like "A focused beam AND a spill-beam? That seems like a little much." And the LED Lenser Flashlight always thinks, jeez, this guy should take a shower sometimes, because honestly the guy does have some problems with hygiene.

Then one night the guy is in a cave looking for his grandmother's lost legacy of family gold smuggled out of Switzerland during World War II (you could cover this boring backstory in a sentence or two of dialogue). Unexpectedly, the LED Lenser Flashlight comes in handy with its bright lights and long battery life. The enemies become friends. And, after the guy takes a shower, lovers.

His family doesn't understand. The relationship makes them uncomfortable. "WE DON'T UNDERSTAND," they shout at him. "THE RELATIONSHIP MAKES US UNCOMFORTABLE." They're not really that angry. They just have to yell to be heard over the noise of the clarinet store where this scene takes place. There are a lot of people trying out clarinets because if you buy one without playing it a little first, boy, are you a sucker.

So the guy doesn't even tell them he found the family gold. Instead he and the LED Lenser Flashlight take the gold and move to Barcelona. But not Barcelona, Spain - Barcelona, Saskatchewan. They are a little upset at the travel agent's mix-up but they make the best of it. And besides, Saskatchewan is pretty nice when you've got that much gold to spend.

Finally, when they are old, the guy reveals that he was actually a LED Lenser Flashlight all along. "I just had to be sure you loved me for me," he says, "not my 175-lumen, 210-meter beam." Then, as a squadron of fanatical young neo-Nazis close in on their ranch house determined to claim the gold their great-grandfathers failed to steal, the screen fades to black.