LifeSmart 1500W Quartz Infrared Heater

by wootbot

Jerk-O-Lantern

Maybe the kids will feel too sorry for you to egg your house.

"Okay, so, tell me again why we're sitting here in the dark with this LifeSmart Infrared Heater?"

SHHHHHH! They're gonna hear you!

"Who's gonna hear me?"

The trick-or-treaters! I forgot to buy candy, so I don't want them to know we're here.

"You know, standard procedure in this situation is to just turn off your porch light. Not have your power shut off completely."

But if I just turned off the porch light, they'd think I'm a big jerk who doesn't want to participate.

"So you'd rather have them think you're a dead beat who can't pay his electric bill?"

Yeah. Kinda.

"Well I gotta hand it to ya. You certainly planned accordingly. The high-output scroll fan on this thing is whisper quiet."

Speaking of whisper quiet … SHHHHHH!

"And it really is doing a great job of heating the whole place. How many square feet is your house, like 1500?"

Seriously, I think I hear them coming. BE QUIET!

"Hey, I just thought of something."

Will you shut your mouth they're at the door!

"If you had the power shut off, how is this thing even running? It's supposed to plug in to a 120V household outlet."

OK, I think they're gone. Anyway, I've got a generator out back. It's plugged into the extension cord.

"Huh. You really did think of everything didn't you? Well, everything except for the candy."

Very funny.