Go Get 'Em, Tiger
Sure, you're gonna be the healthiest guy at the office. But just so you know, everyone is going to hate you.
Well look at you, taking control of your life, refusing to die slowly by sitting behind a desk for 8-10 hours a day.
Look at you, tracking your steps taken, walking time, calories burned and distance traveled all while you prepare the fiscal projections report for the 2:00 meeting.
Look at you, totally not choking while you chomp away ever-so-smugly on that apple, the one you're washing down with the kale smoothie you have ample room for on your heavy duty workspace with the rounded off corners. The very same corners that were designed not just for aesthetics but also safety, so you won't accidentally slice open your jugular when you stumble over the thumbtacks that somehow appeared on the treadmill belt. Seriously... how did those even get there? You should really be more careful.
So yeah. Look at you, you go-getter. You're a shoe-in for that promotion. You know, assuming that built-in Intelli-Guard™ feature doesn't mysteriously fail.