Mint Hard Floor Cleaner

by wootbot

In the Year 2000

Some people see the merit in a machine that can dry sweep dust, dirt and hair and wet mop hard surface floors. And other people are crazy.

"What's uh ... what's going on there, Kevin?

Just doing a little cleaning.

"See, cuz it looks like you're just slithering around on your belly, licking the floor as you go."

IT'S THE ROBOTS, MAN. WE CAN'T LET THEM TAKE OVER.

"Ooh, yeah. So I'm just gonna back away slowly now and ..."

I'm serious, man. We humans gotta stay relevant. Today, it's intelligent floor-cleaning machines guided by NorthStar® Navigation Systems. Tomorrow, it's hollow boxes of information that'll virtually eliminate the need for encyclopedias!

"You mean like the internet?"

DON'T YOU SPEAK ITS NAME IN THIS HOUSE. A lot of my friends have lost their jobs to that soulless monster.

"Were they watching porn at work?"

Maybe.

"Well then."

They were just trying to cling to their humanity!

"Gross."

OH I'M SORRY. Is humanity gross to you? Is a grown man cleaning the floor with his tongue and an inside-out diaper gross to you?

"Yes."

You're a disappointment to your kind.

"I can live with that."