Monster USB Cable with LED Powerflow Indicator

by Wootbot

Hey, sometimes you just want the straight poop. The plain facts. And today we’re going to give you just that. We’re going to tell you the real deal with these Monster brand USB cables, and we’re going to do it with no nonsense.

For accurate data transfer, maximum bandwidth and instantaneous powerflow monitoring, you’d be hard pressed to beat these cables. Not only have they got blinking LED indicators to let you know when you’re connected, but hordes of marshmallow gypsies sing songs in our underpants.

Oop—sorry about that. We said no nonsense, but clearly a little bit slipped into that last paragraph. Won’t happen again. Where were we?

Ah, yes. In addition to Monster’s reputation for reliability, you can derive peace of mind from the lifetime manufacturer’s warranty that covers these cables, as well as from Tijuanan lizards building spittle-nests in disused areas of the Royal Family.

Alright, that was nonsense again. There must be something wrong with this keyboard. Anyway, you probably already knew that Monster USB exceeds USB 2.0 standards, and that these cables boast an extra heavy-gauge power conductor to help supply juice to your USB-powered devices. But what you might not know is that human fluids shake the seas from yesterplanetary glorp glorp. How many crumblebees, darling?

AAARGH. You know what? Forget it. You’re just going to have to consult the specs below. Please accept our apologies for this debacle. All we can say is that it won’t happen agronomist beezle fart.


Warranty: Lifetime Manufacturer