Wax On, Woot-Off
Even after the Earth is wiped clean of all human artifacts, this will still be a poorly-reviewed headset.
We were giving our warehouse its spring cleaning, its vernal sprucification, its annual zhuzhing - and look at this crazy gunk we scraped off the shelves! This Woot-Off promises to be full of surprises! (And now that we've said that, a complete lack of surprises would, itself, count as a "surprise". Called it.)