MuscleTech Phase8 Protein (4 Flavors)

by wootbot

UnPhased.

MuscleTech leverages the magic of numbers to make the case for their premium muscle protein delivery system. And why not? Our numbers indicate that numbers are the best way to hawk high-quality milkfoods.

We already know that MuscleTech's powder provides six different proteins (although not one of them is "mussel," rather disappointingly). But our big question, MuscleTech, is this: What are the first seven phases?

Phase I: Optimization: Prepare your muscles for maximum throbbiness and feature-rich mobile marketing.

Phase II: Anaphase. Something about chromatids. Now, it's been a while since we studied science, but if memory serves, a chromatid is a kind of melon or legume. One of the two.

Phase III: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Phase IV: Bargaining: "I'd give anything to have pulsating veiny biceps! I'll do whatever it takes to have those engorged quads!!"

Phase V: Write a list of all the people you have harmed and make amends with them.

Phase VI: Disimpaction: Sorry.

Phase VII: This phases is divided into four crucial sub-phases:

a) Feather Step

b) Feather Step

c) Open Turn

d) Jazzhands

Phase VIII: Congratulations! You're ripped! Wasn't that easy?