Some things just can't be swept under the rug.
Honey, you're finally home! Oh, it's so good to see you again! How was Omaha? Yeah, well, it is Omaha, so that's to be expected. And your mother, how's she? Awesome. Good to hear.
Aw, look! I guess Neato missed you, too! Isn't he just the cutest little robot vacuum in the whole...
What do you mean "that's not Neato?" Of course, it's Neato, honey. Don't be ridiculous.
I realize you've been gone a while, dear, but you can't have forgotten what your trusted floor sweeping friend looks like in just two weeks! He's got the same powerful suction for picking up dirt, debris, and tough pet hair, the same special filter for picking up allergens, and even the same adorable combination bristle and brush he had before you left. Now go on and say hello before he automatically scoots back to his charging station. You'll give the poor thing a complex.
A scuff mark. Uh, well, I don't think there's ever been a scuff mark on his exterior casing. Not one that I remember. And maybe he just sounds a little different because I just recently emptied the bagless dirt bin. Yeah, that's probably what it is. Now why don't you lie down for a while. You've had a long trip and... well, no, come to think of it, I've never noticed the path Neato takes as he cleans in a methodical back-and-forth pattern. Maybe he just wants to go up-and-down the floor instead of left-to-right now. I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE ROBOT LIKES VARIETY.
FINE! Fine! You caught me. There was a bit of an incident I don't want to talk about right know involving friends and maybe a little alcohol, and Neato... well, he had to go away, honey. Yes, that also explains the faint smell of burned plastic. Dang. I thought for sure all that air freshener would cover that up.
But hey, don't be sad, honey! I'm sorry, but I fixed it, didn't I? This Neato XV-21 Pet & Allergy Robotic Vac is just like your old one. Come on now, no tears, okay? I'm sure you'll learn to love this one just as much as the last.
Hmm? What do you mean "Where's Scraps?" Your dog? Heh, we never had a dog, honey! Boy, your mind sure is playing tricks on... You know what, I'll just pack my things.