Need a Fix Now That Football's Over? Try Tazer Ball!

by Randall Cleveland

We here at Woot like to consider ourselves at the cutting edge of mocking new extreme sports, which is why we were so happy to see the latest craze sweeping the nation: Tazer Ball! Take two teams of four dudes, add a giant novelty soccer ball, throw in eight tasers, and stand way the hell back:

Who said the decline of civilization wouldn't yield great sporting events?! Ultimate Tazer Ball raises so many questions: Why did no one check the correct spelling of "taser?" Was this born from watching fans streak onto the field of real sporting events, only to be stun-gunned into submission? Why does the ball have to be a giant soccer ball? How can one player have a reputation for being a cheater when the rules of the game allow for the forcible electrocution of opposing players? Is there anywhere besides my local prison that I can actually see one of these matches? How long before we can drop the pretense and officially launch the Mutant League? The mind boggles!

Would you play Tazer Ball? Of course not! But would you go down a few beers and watch some parolees run around a field for an hour stun-gunning each other? What other sports could be improved by the addition of stun guns? Let us know what you think in the comments!