Camer-Ra Ra Sis Boom Bah!
Someone has to be standing on the sidelines to capture all that sweet cheerleading action.
Am I bummed I didn't make the squad? Nah! Not at all! I mean, there are other ways to show your school spirit than to be a cheerleader, right? That's why I signed up to be the sports photographer. Why would I want to DO toe touches and basket tosses when I can TAKE PICTURES of toe touches and basket tosses with my Nikon 16MP Digital Camera? Pssh. It's a no-brainer, really.
I mean, who needs to risk life and limb in some master feat of skill and athleticism? Who wants to be hoisted to the top of a human pyramid in some triumphant show of acrobatic prowess? And for what, just to get a few oohs and ahhs from an adoring crowd of spectators? Not THIS guy, I tell ya!
No, sir. I'm quite content standing right here, capturing every moment of those back flips and hand springs with high-speed continuous shooting at full resolution, not being noticed AT ALL. Unlike that attention whore, Kirk, whose ankle I in no way at all hope shatters into a million pieces next time he's doing a high kick or slipping on some unfortunately placed marbles which I had absolutely nothing to do with.