Yo Onkyo, why you gotta receive like that?
Onkyo, it's us, Woot. We've got a great idea for your company so just hear us out: you should introduce a mascot. He'll be, like, a really hip cool pig (you'll know he's cool because he'll be wearing sunglasses and cargo shorts; shirt undecided), nd his name? Oink-Yo!
C'mon how awesome would that be? Like, for this Onkyo 7.2 Receiver with Bluetooth and Wi-Fi, you wouldn't just say, "it connects to the wireless home network without Ethernet cables or adapters, and it comes preloaded with the most popular music streaming and internet radio services!" You'd have Oink-Yo roll up on his longboard (which looks like a strip of bacon) and say, "Oink, oink, playas! It's me, Oink-Yo, here to tell you that this receiver is mad dope and fly and that y'all can connect to the Internet without the wizires, bros! And if you want to bump some hella music, y'all can use the software that's loaded pre-style, dawg. Now, I gotta boogie because that mud's not gonna roll around in itself, you feel, playa? Oink-yo out!"
Or, like, he could break into a super fresh rap-metal track. We don't have the words written yet, but we know we're going to rhyme "HDMI for high resolution playback," with something like "rollin' in my Maybach," and "quick and easy remote app control," with "I got that ballin' street swine soul." Or something.
Anyway, you get the idea. Please get back to us and let us know what you think. Also, if you like it, we'd like you to pay us a lot of money.