Polar RS400 Running Series Heart Rate Monitor

by wootbot

Let's Hear It

Your heartbeat rhythm says a lot about you. So if you don't want people to know certain things, you should probably not wear this thing in public.

DA DUM. DA DUM. DA DUM. DA DUM.
Congratulations! Your heartbeat sounds perfectly healthy! But that doesn't mean you couldn't take a nasty spill down the stairs or stumble into the street and get hit by a bus at any moment. So watch your step!

FLURB. FLUUURB. FLURB. FLUUURB.
Just how many Little Debbies DID you eat last night? That's what I thought.

BA-ZING-AH. BA-ZING-AH. BA-ZING-AH.
Is that ... is that even human? Wait. What do you have the monitor hooked up to? Oh you joker, YOU! You're a funny one.

GLUB GLUB. GLUB GLUB. GLUB GLUB.
OK, we specifically said DO NOT try to take your heart rate while under water. You're obviously not very good at following directions.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
That's not your heartbeat. That's a request. We've got the keg all set up.

BA-BEEP. BA-BEEP. BA-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBA-BEEP.
Oh man. Lost you for a minute there. But welcome back! Also, you should probably go to the doctor. That seems like something that shouldn't happen.