Stride Smart, Not Hard
Look, I'm sorry for those things I said about your mother. But when you work out at my house, you wipe off the elliptical machine.
I strive to offer a professional workout experience at Gary's House & Gym. The towels are always clean, the water is always clean, and the workout music is always clean. And the Smart Strider Elliptical offers 18-inch strides, 16 built-in workouts, 16 resistance levels, and dual-grip EKG heart-rate monitor, just like a real gym.
So why shouldn't I maintain a professional standard when it comes to member conduct? If I let you work out without wiping down the elliptical, then everybody who works out here will want to not wipe down the elliptical, and then it'll be total -
What? Yes, there are! A lot of people work out at Gary's! You just, you just don't see them because they, uh, they come at really weird times. You should see this place at 2:30 in the morning. It's packed!
Anyway, I'm warning you. One more incident and I'll have to reconsider your membership. Oh, you're quitting? Yeah, right! What are you going to do, get a ProForm Smart Strider Elliptical for your own house? Ha! Good luck finding one for under five hundred bucks!