Prospera PL009 Electronic Pulse Massager

by wootbot

This Moment in Prospera History

Join us as we revisit the most beloved moments from past Prospera PL009 writeups!

After so many appearances on Woot, the Prospera PL009 Electronic Pulse Massager has become more than just a soothing source of subcutaneous electrical impulses. It's become a familiar friend, a trusted confidante, maybe even for some of us... a lover. Let's pull our Prospera PL009 scrapbook down from the wall and remember the memories. Like this chilling moment from an experiment gone terribly wrong:

"...no matter how much the subject begs, you are not to administer the Prospera's high frequency pain-relief stimulation unless an incorrect answer is given. Is that clear?"

But the Prospera PL009 has a softer side, too:

"Honey, I really think this is for relieving pain in your back and stuff, not erotic foreplay."

"We've got six massage programs to try out before we can be sure."

"Fine. Just pour me another glass of wine."

And just when you think you know the Prospera PL009, you realize it's hiding some new surprise:

"Certainly, I'm not using the Prospera's nodes to cover up any embarrassingly shaped freckles! No, I simply love its soothing pulse, which can relieve the pain of a stiff neck or a sore leg or whatever, but I personally like to use it on these four specific points on my chest, which are completely unrelated to where any birthmarks lie or anything like that."

Indeed, the Prospera PL009's power of electrical massage can indeed seem superhuman indeed:

"Egads! I’ve become somehow fused with the electronic circuitry of my computer! My limbs have become electrodes! My body is now an 8”-long device covered in buttons! And my face! My beautiful face has become an LCD showing details of massage style, intensity, and duration!... I shall be an unstoppable electronic crusader against the forces of stress and anxiety! I shall be the electro-powered champion of all those suffering strain, trauma, pain, and tension!"

Yes, we've been through a lot together, haven't we, old friend? And the Prospera PL009 Electronic Pulse Massager adventure is just beginning. We think this classic writeup said it best:

"...the Prospera PL009 Electronic Pulse Massager has become more than just a soothing source of subcutaneous electrical impulses. It's become a familiar friend, a trusted confidante, maybe even for some of us... a lover."