Pure Therapy Head & Eye Massager
Too Crazy To Be Dangerous!
You can always trust the really weird stuff!
Let me make this clear: I don't use a computer because I'm afraid the keys will slowly alter my fingerprints until I'm a different man altogether. And I don't use cellphones because I'm afraid of the low, virtually unhearable brain-washing frequencies that they feed into people's ears. Basically, I stay away from all electronics, and I have for quite some time.
But you better believe that I use this Pure Therapy Head & Eye Massager all the time!
Why? Because, c'mon - it would be way too obvious for a thing like this to read people's minds. Seriously, it goes around your head and over your eyes, like some virtual reality helmet in an 80s movie! And then it rubs your head with massage nodes that are dedicated to the temple area and closely mimic the touch and feel of a professional masseuse? Just their sincere use of a diabolical-sounding word like "nodes" shows that the guys who built this thing aren't out to get me.
I mean, that would be like a thief setting up a "wallet shining" stand to steal your money. Totally ridiculous! Right? Like I shouldn't worry that the guy said he'd finish with my wallet in a few hours... and that was two days ago, right?
