The Great Escape
Pyrex, the #1 recommended bakeware of prison smugglers everywhere.
Every third Tuesday of the month, you come sashaying in with your ruffled apron and sensible flats, carrying your freshly baked Pyrex surprises, and the guards never suspect a thing. You just look like a regular Suzy Freakin' Homemaker bringing wholesome, home-cooked meals to your man in the clink. I was framed, I tell ya! FRAMED! But that's what they all say. So you just keep your cool and deliver the goods.
What they don't see in the 3-quart oblong dish with cover is a 13-inch file baked right into that perfectly browned tuna casserole. Or the double-edge hand saw hiding under a blanket of cherry cobbler in that 9.5" flavor-savor pie plate. And they'd never believe for a second that you fit an entire carton of cigarettes in the 1.5-quart loaf dish. Probably because you cleverly disguised them in a hollowed-out pound cake. You, my dear, are a criminal mastermind … and one hell of a cook.
Thanks to Pyrex and your kitchen creativity, the plan is right on track. So you just keep battin' those eyelashes and sneakin' in that meatloaf laced with razor blades, and I'll be outta this joint in no time. 10-15 years, tops.