Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse

by Wootbot

Coming Soon

Sure, it looks nice. But will it work as promised? No, not the Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse, we’re talking about Avatar.

Hey. Hey, James Cameron’s investors. We know you’re sweating it right now. Seriously, it’s been years. And sure, the preview footage looks great. But… it’s not his money, you know? It’s yours. So we’d like to offer a few suggestions of what you can do in case Avatar fails at the box office and you lose your expensive, tailored shirts.

First of all, you could recover a few thousand here and there by making some short films about the Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse. After all, what is an Avatar, really? It’s a computer thingy that is controlled from a distance by a human. And what is a mouse with a seven foot lightweight non-tangle cord? The exact same thing! With a much smaller investment/return ratio! Really, there’s so much less risk involved with a Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse.

Secondly, you’d be able to tell everyone that your Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse has the fastest optical sensor in the world. You don’t know what that means, probably, but you know what? Neither do they! All they know is that “fastest” means “best”. And everyone wants to be the best in Hollywood. Think about how it will feel to be at one of your tax-deductable power lunches, talking about how you’ve worked with the best in the world.

Third, think about how easy it is to control a Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse. The trademarked Always-On™ mode means that… right, pretty obvious there. Plus the three independently programmable Hyperesponse™ buttons are ultra-large and non-slip. You’ll find it very easy to make that mouse do anything you want it to do. That’s right. Anything. That’s why you work in Hollywood, isn’t it?

Of course, we very much hope that Avatar makes back all that money the very first weekend. And we hope you get so amazingly rich that they have to invent another number to explain just how rich you are. But if something goes wrong, remember: the Razer Salmosa Gaming Mouse will be happy to help.

Oh, by the way, these mice were made to be sold in China and Korea so there’s some funny letters here and there on the packaging. But kids are all about that sort of thing today. It’ll help you test well with the youth market. See? We’re savvy to the dope lingo! Word!

Warranty: 1 Year Razer

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