Wag Wag Wag
How can you choose between these Samsung Galaxy Tablets? Answer: YOU CAN'T. BUY THEM ALL.
Look, we don't want to say it, but we're gonna say it: each of these tablets that you don't buy... we'll have to send them to a farm. That's right. A farm upstate where tablets can run and play and be happy. Except the farmer makes us pay rent for every tablet that goes to that farm. And how does he demand rent? You got it. In Bags Of Crap.
So every tablet we don't sell is one less Bag Of Crap we can offer you, the gentle reader. We implore you: DON'T MAKE US SEND ANY MORE TABLETS TO THAT FARM UPSTATE! Instead, buy a tablet here today, raise it as your own, love it, enjoy all the apps and features you'll see listed over on the side. And maybe, just maybe, we'll stop sending crap to that farmer once and for all.
And that'll give you a better chance. Not today, of course, but in some unspecified future. Possibly. In hypothetical. Theoretically.