You know what kills your employees’ productivity? When they leave for lunch. Especially if it’s a lunch of cough syrup. But don’t worry; there are ways you can keep your employees from leaving. The easiest is locking the doors from the outside; unfortunately, it’s also illegal (or so I’m told). So instead, we here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership would suggest having a cafeteria at your workplace.
What is a cafeteria? Well, that’s easy to figure out if you break the word down: Café is a place where French people eat breakfast and lunch; and Teria is just a bunch of extra letters to make it sound more work-y and less French. So essentially a cafeteria is a place where your employees can get breakfast or lunch without leaving the workplace.
But why just breakfast and lunch? Why not a few more meals? Think about: everyone loves food. In fact, that’s how I get people to enroll at Sean U when I go to college fairs. I say, “Hey, you look like the kind of person who a) needs to pursue a career in business and b) loves food.” Immediately, I have them where I want them because they’re like, “He was right about the food part; maybe he’s right about that other part too!”
What I’m getting at here is this: if you want your employees to be more productive, you’ll offer more than two basic meals in your cafeteria. Like what? How about one or two of these:
Mid-Morning Tacos: Here’s something interesting: people only use 10% of their brain. So what’s the rest of the brain busy doing? It’s thinking, “Oh man, tacos would be so killer right now!” Well then, why not serve some up to free your employees’ minds from the grips of taco-want?
Secret Sushi: There is sushi somewhere in the cafeteria, but where? Employees will have to complete a series of wacky [work-related] tasks to find out!
Piñata Fridays: Fill a piñata half with candy, and half with paperwork. Raise it in the cafeteria. First person to break it open gets dibs on whatever pieces of candy he wants and whatever paperwork he wants to take home for the weekend!
Monthly Cheese Hunt: Your employees getting irritable? Let them take out their aggression with some cheese hunting! Here’s how it works: you scatter a bunch of tiny cheese cubes around the cafeteria, arm employees with cocktail swords, and let them go nuts! The person who spears the most cheese-cubes gets to buy the cheese for next month’s hunt!
Chicken Wing Surprise: Is Chicken Wing Surprise real? Or is it a myth created by management keep people excited about coming into work? Nobody is sure. In fact, all that is known about Chicken Wing Surprise is that it will only happen when everyone least expects it!
Those are all the meals I would suggest. What extra treats will you offer to your employees? Post your suggestions in the comments below!