Sean University: My 4 Thankful-Fors (and by 4, I mean 7) #2

by Sean Adams

Classes here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership take place on Thursdays. Well, it just so happens that Thanksgiving also takes place on a Thursday. Last year, I cancelled class for Thanksgiving. This year, I was hoping we could cancel Thanksgiving for class. But, every email I send to thanks@giving.hol seems to bounce back, so I guess I’ll concede. YET AGAIN!

So, like last year, I’d like to use this absolutely pointless class before vacation to open up and share some personal stuff. (Figuratively speaking. My organs are my own. No one gets any of those.) Here is what I’m thankful for this year:

I’m thankful that normal people aren’t allowed to drive tanks around, because think about how annoying parking would be with all those tanks taking up extra spots.

I’m thankful that coffee shops use cream, not cheese, as the default dairy-additive when it comes to coffee. That way, if you want skim milk but you forget to tell the barista, you just get a few extra calories instead of cheese-coffee.

I’m thankful that a “canary” is a bird, because it just sounds like a bird, you know? (Although, maybe that’s because we’ve always only ever used the word “canary” to refer to birds. Let me think about this one a little bit more and get back to you.)

I’m thankful that the bodies in morgues are usually lying down and put away. If they were just out in the open and standing up, and you just dropped by a morgue and didn’t know your way around, you might be like, “excuse me, sir, which way to the autopsy room?” only to find out that you’re talking to a dead person.

I’m thankful that airplanes can go on the ground sometimes, like when they land. If they couldn’t, then they’d have to lower rope ladders down for people to get on. And man, do I hate rope ladders!

I’m thankful that, while some clouds are shaped like dogs, most are just shaped like clouds. Because dogs are already shaped like dogs, so we have all the dog-shaped stuff we need, really.

I’m thankful that desks and decks are so dissimilar. That makes it easy if you mishear someone. Like, if a guy says, “here’s my desk” and you think he said, “Here’s my deck” you can just look and be like, “Oh wait! He must've said desk.” If desks and decks were a similar size or shape, you might put an Adirondack chair on that guys desk and sit down, and seriously, HOW EMBARASSING WOULD THAT BE?!?!

Well, that’s it for me this year! What about you? Thankful for anything? Share in the comments!

[Author’s note: I’ve thought about it some more, and I’m rescinding the canary one.]