It’s Never The Ones You Think
Is your partner living a double life as a Euro Pro Steam Pocket Mop? Look for these troubling signs…
We’ve all seen it happen. A marriage that seems, on its surface, perfectly happy is torn asunder by the shocking revelation that one spouse has been secretly cleaning sealed and pre-sealed hard floor surfaces.
And don’t not think it couldn’t never happen to you. Before you dismiss this warning as a contrived premise for an allegedly humorous piece of copywriting, ask yourself these questions about your relationship:
- Does your partner regularly forget not only your birthday, but his or her own birthday? Has he or she never even mentioned having a birthday at all?
- Has your partner had, or considered having, surgery to enhance the size of his or her microfiber pad?
- Do your partner’s social media profiles mention anything about 180-degree swivel action?
- When you make overtures toward physical intimacy, does your partner claim he or she is “too tired from steam-cleaning all that damn linoleum”?
- Did you meet your partner in a large cardboard box delivered on your doorstep?
- Do you and your partner ever act out role-playing fantasies in which you are a carpet or area rug that he or she is freshening and deodorizing?
- Has your partner ever complained about his or her steam holes becoming clogged?
- When you ask your partner where he or she has been, does he or she become evasive, answering your questions with silent emissions of superheated chemical-free steam?
- When you’re out together, do you ever catch your partner staring longingly at hard floors?
- Is your partner purple?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you may be sleeping with a Euro Pro Steam Pocket Mop. Relationship counselors recommend remaining calm, talking through the issues together in a climate of nonjudgmental understanding, and getting all the on-demand floor steam-cleaning you can out of your partner before dumping him or her in a few years for a younger model.
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
- Provides chemical free steam on demand, delivering the right amount of super-heated steam to the microfiber pad when you want it and where you need it with just simple natural mopping motion
- The 180-degree swivel action ensures the ability to maneuver into tight spaces, against baseboards and around furniture
- Patented steam pocket design releases the super-heated steam while holding the heat in the pocket to effectively clean and sanitize at the same time and on both sides
- Carpet glider helps freshen and deodorize carpets and area rugs
- Appropriate for use on all sealed and pre-sealed hard floor surfaces
- Large capacity tank for a long running time
- Power Cord Length: 30 feet
- Dimensions: 23.1"(H) x 13.5"(W) x 6.9"(D)
- Weight: 7.5 lbs
In the box:
- Euro-Pro Shark S3501 Steam Pocket Mop (Choose: Lavender or White)
- Rectangle Mop Head
- Triangle Mop Head
- Steam Duster Pad
- Rectangle Pad
- Triangle Pad
- Carpet Glider