It makes your TV time simpler. It doesn't bring back TV from a simpler time.
"You look really upset, Kathleen. What's going on?"
Oh it's just this hunk of junk tv recorder thing I bought. It doesn't work.
"A Simple.TV? I heard those are really great. You can watch recorded or live shows on your iPad, Android tablet or mobile phone. So what's the problem with it?"
It keeps recording all these shows with sex and graphic violence.
"Well that does sound like a problem. What are you trying to record?"
Law and Order: SVU and Hannibal.
"Oh. Well. See, that might be the problem. Those shows are pretty explicit, especially by network television standards."
I know. That's why I bought this Simple.TV. I thought it was supposed to take out all the bad stuff. Like maybe instead of that scene where they're rolling around all sweaty and moaning, it would just show the actors side-by-side in twin beds or something.
"Oh. Yeah, no. It doesn't do that. In fact, I don't think there's anything you can buy that can do that. You should probably just watch a different show."
That's too bad. I really like that Christopher Meloni fella. So handsome.
"Yeah, he's not even on the show anymore."
Well can you blame him? Such smut!