You gotta lock down your future.
Charles, I have something to talk to you about. You see, your mom was bringing your laundry up to your room the other day, she dropped a sock on the ground near your bed, and well, we found your stash.
Why do you look so nervous, Charles? I'm just talking about your stash of college viewbooks.
Now, me and your mom want you to go to college, we really do. But as you know, neither of us pull in much money, so we couldn't set up a traditional college fund for you. But we did manage to put something away.
You see, when you were born, we signed up for The Snapware Glasslock Plan. Under that, a miniscule amount of money was taken out each of my paychecks to be put, each year, towards one piece of a set of clear, stainproof glass containers.
When you turned one, we put away one of the lids; the next year: a container, and so on. Well, now that you're 18, you've got the full set. That's 3 round containers, 4 rectangle containers, 3 square containers, and 9 matching lids to provide airtight and leakproof storage!
So, Charles, while you will most definitely going into insurmountable debt, at least you'll be able to keep your food fresh, right?
Those are tears of joy, I assume.