This camera is going to help me put these mysteries to rest, once and for all.
Big Foot. Chupacabra. The Loch Ness Monster. I've heard people say that if they really existed, we'd have caught them on film by now. But until now, we haven't had the Swann FreeStyle Action Cam.
I know what you're thinking. Here's another slack-jawed whack-a-doo spending all his time chasing mythical beasts all over creation to try to prove they're real. But you're wrong. I'm on your side. I'm here to prove they're NOT real. In fact, I already have the proof. Here's how I did it.
First, I set up this FreeStyle Action Cam right here between these two trees. If there was any activity whatsoever, these 8 mega pixel JPEG images taken in rapid fire succession would have caught it. But guess what? I got nothing. Well, not nothing. I got this gorgeous shot of a majestic deer standing in this clearing just before a hunter took it down. And then these gory shots of him dressing it right there. But no big, hairy ape man, which must mean that Big Foot simply does not exist.
The next thing I did was travel all the way to Scotland to prove that the Loch Ness Monster is all a bunch of hooey. Of course, I brought my Swann FreeStyle with me, since it has a waterproof casing and offers hands-free action video while swimming and surfing, and doing pretty much any other high-adventure outdoor activity you can think of. What I got is 10 continuous hours of indisputable proof that there is absolutely no prehistoric lizard creature in those waters. Seriously, I swam from one end of that thing to the other and then back again. Then I watched the playback footage right there on the detachable 1.5" LCD screen. Nothing. So I think we can all finally agree that the Loch Ness Monster simply does not exist either.
Anyway, I'm off to Mexico now to debunk this Chupacabra nonsense. I'll have the FreeStyle's laser pointer guide to show me exactly what the camera is looking at as it records, which I think we all know will be … OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT JUST NOW? No, of course you didn't. Because there's nothing to see.