I’m sorry to have to do this to ya, Slappy, but I’m afraid this old saloon doesn’t need a piano player anymore.
I reckon you saw this comin’. Times are changin’, Slap. A fella ain’t interested in jaunty piano tunes, card games, and alcohol poured from a jug with three Xs on the side like they use to be. No, sir. Nowadays, they want sportin’ events and chicken wings, beer that taste like nothin’ and them fancy video games with Poker built right in. Hell, Abby and Pauline had to quit with the escortin’ and get jobs elsewhere servin’ up nachos or some such. I tell you, I don’t understand it at all but, as a business man, I gotta try to keep up, you understand.
That’s why tomorrow we’re sellin’ that piano you’ve been playing and mounting one of them Plasma/LCD TVs with a Sylvania Universal Fixed TV Wall Mount. I reckon it oughta do the job of holdin’ anything from 37-65” and up to 200 pounds. No, no, I won’t need the help. It provides everything I need to do it myself real easy-like. Thanks for offerin’, though.
I sure am gonna miss you, Slappy. You always did add a little class to the place. But if you like, here’s the address of that place Abby and Pauline are workin’ at. Looks like they cater to owl-lovers by the looks of the name. Might be worth a look-see.
Warranty: 1 Year Sylvania
- Easy to install, the Sylvania SYL-P14LB includes a Lift-and-Lock 2-piece design and bubble level that helps to ensure accurate mounting
- Accomodates VESA 400x400, 600x600, 800x600 standards
- Sports a 3.47-inch low profile from the wall
- Includes all mounting hardware and spacers for convex back flat-panel TVs
- Everything you need for installation is provided
- Built for maximum strength and long lasting, durability
- Fits most 37-65” Plasma/LCD TV’s.
- Weight capacity: 200 pounds
- Material: Aluminum
In the box:
- Sylvania SYL-P14LB Fixed Mount
- Mounting Hardware
- Bubble Level