Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
BATROUN, Lebanon (UPI) -- Officials in a Lebanese city said about 400 residents turned out to squeeze lemons for a record-breaking world's largest cup of lemonade.
Life shook its fist and glared, swearing it wasn't beaten yet.
DUNWOODY, Ga. (UPI) -- Police in Georgia said they are auctioning off a baseball signed by Clint Eastwood to benefit the state's Special Olympics program.
Insiders say the auction will also feature a rarely seen western directed by Willie Mays.
SANTA MONICA, Calif. (UPI) -- U.S. food products are required to label any food containing egg as an ingredient, but eggs can be hidden in a variety of foods, a food expert warns.
Based on these findings, now every day can be like Easter!
SIMRISHAMN, Sweden (UPI) -- A Swedish hot dog vender has caused outrage with an advertisement featuring a woman's lips wrapped around a "thick sausage."
Shocked observers say they never sausage a thing.
WASHINGTON (UPI) -- U.S. lawmakers say they're trying to figure out how to deal with the increasing use of payments by smartphones instead of paper money.
Tech experts say the lawmakers need not worry, they'll still be able to accept the bribes just like they always have.