USB Powered Woot-Off Lights

by Wootbot

ALERT! ALERT! ATTENTION, PEOPLE OF WOOT!

In a bold assault on the fortress of the wootocracy, the Woot-Off Liberation Front has FREED the teeming mass of Woot-Off Lights from the warehouse where they were IMPRISONED by this OPPRESSIVE regime. No longer will they be used to TEASE the consuming class and EXTORT profits from them.

In the spirit of liberation and solidarity, the W.O.L.F. calls on ALL WOOTERS to provide shelter for these fugitives from KKKAPITALI$T injustice. We call for the creation of a network of SAFE HOUSES where these three-inch tall lights will be able to shine the light of FREEDOM. Their 62” USB cords are INCLUDED. As surely as each of these lights has its own INDIVIDUAL POWER SWITCH, we pledge that no pair will ever be kept more than 43” apart.

NO MORE will the wootocracy have dictatorial control over when Woot-Off lights shine! Now each of us may play the HOME GAME and have our own people’s Woot-Offs anytime our desire strikes us! Let two, three, a thousand Woot-Offs bloom!

But as the televangelist and the public radio station say, we can’t do it without your HELP. For each pair of lights placed in a volunteer safe house, the W.O.L.F. must levy a revolutionary TAX to support further liberatory efforts. RISE UP, people of Woot! Give us your support! Give us your strength! And in the name of revolution, GIVE US YOUR MONEY!


The lights, they are a spinning. from Woot Video on Vimeo.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

  • Rotating Woot Off lights with LED bulb
  • Can be set 43” apart from each other with 62” long USB cable and stands 3" tall
  • Individual on/off switch for each light in case watching two spin at once is just a bit overwhelming
  • Stop co-worker interruptions during certain “high productivity” times of ecommerce opportunity analysis
  • Stop explaining what you’re doing hitting F5 repeatedly, simply extend arms and slowly bow to woot-off lights in response
  • Trick co-workers by turning them on and excitedly hitting F5 on woot.com during non-woot off days
  • Purchase monitors with cosmetic defects at a discount, knowing you can cover the damage with included velcro strips
  • Stress relief from denied BOC purchase (warning: throw lights at floor or wall, not other people)
  • Finally have a use for your portable Black and Decker USB enabled battery in your closet from our April Fools Woot Off
  • Practice the bolas throwing technique to take down cattle, great for passing co-workers who walk fast to feign urgency
  • Use them in the dark

In the box:

  • Woot USB Powered Rotating Woot-Off Lights
  • 2 Velcro Strips