by wootbot

The TV for Cellar-Dwellers

No, you're not seeing things. Out of our desperate craving for dollars commitment to our customers, we're running an extra deal today. Who loves money you, baby?

"And now we go to Sailors manager Ernie Fudge, whose team dropped their ninth straight game today. Ernie, how'd you feel about this ballgame?"

I thought the guys looked great out there.

"Really? Because they lost by thirteen runs."

Oh, I know. They didn't play well at all. But they looked fantastic.

"Uh, how so? Your leadoff man somehow got picked off while he was still batting, your catcher played the last three innings sitting on a piano bench, and your left fielder not only fell asleep, he did it while he was holding the ball."

Yeah. We're a terrible team. Fortunately, I was back in the clubhouse watching the game on the Vizio 29" LED TV, so we looked great. So crisp, so lifelike. And those vibrant colors! If only we had that much pop in our bats.

"No kidding. The Sheriffs pulled all of their defenders off the field to try to make the game more competitive, and it still took the Sailors two innings to score a run."

That was compelling television, let me tell you. Yeah, we're just bad at playing baseball. But tonight makes me think this team is getting better.

"Are you serious?"

Wait, did I say "getting better"? No, no, I meant "looking better", thanks to the Vizio 29" TV. No, this team isn't getting any better for a long, long time.