What a Deal-ightful Day

by Laura Duncan

Great news about today: Not only can you ignore your vital daily chores and eschew productivity at work - we’ve also cleverly provided opportunities for you to spend money!

Today we’ve lined up some of our best deals ever. That’s not just a superlative - it’s a fact. You can save up to 70 percent on all kinds of stuff. Good stuff, too. Not those terrible hologram bracelets. We’re launching awesome deals every hour all day, so keep your eyes peeled.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

We’re offering 10,000 BOCs as part of this big birthday bash. Whether you’re working through World of Wootcrap, ogling our offers, or viewing our videos, you’ll find opportunities to snag a bag.

In fact, if you don’t have a BOC when this is all said and done, take a long look in the mirror and consider the possibility that you were cursed by Imhotep or something. We’re breakin’ records up in here.

HOLD YOUR HORSES, BUCKAROO. WE’RE NOT DONE YET.

We’ve got some great stuff happening over on Shirt.Woot, too. During the entire month of July you can purchase our daily designs for the low, low price of TEN STINKIN’ DOLLARS.

Also, if you fancy yourself an arteest or you’ve got one crashing on your couch at the moment, enter our $10K cup. The “k” means thousand! Sean Adams explains it here.

GET OFF THE TABLE, GRANNY. I HAVE MORE TO SAY. ABOUT WINE. AND FREE SHIPPING.

Consider this the fine print. Unfortunately, we can’t offer free shipping over on Wine.Woot because it’s decidedly weird and works a little differently than great-tasting original Woot. If you have a cart that contains wine as well as other fine things, you'll see that you still get an adjusted shipping discount on your non-wine items.

However, you’ll find some unbelievably great deals on some of our Woot Cellars wines. After all, a birthday without vino is like a … uh, breakfast … without … vino. We drink a lot of vino.

If your beverage of choice is Bags of Crap, those will be sold for $8, which includes shipping.

SETTLE DOWN, STAMMY. THERE’S JUST A LITTLE MORE.

We want to sincerely thank you for being a part of our silly little website. You're the reason we've had a great decade. Have fun with us today. Maybe buy some stuff. Get a BOC. Definitely buy some stuff. And thanks again!