Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.
CROSTHWAITE, England (UPI) -- The owner of a hotel in Britain said he replaced the room Bibles with copies of "Fifty Shades of Grey" to reflect the modern secular society.
Religious leaders worldwide are already calling the owner a genius, saying he's uncovered the fastest way to make young atheists start demanding he send up some Bibles immediately.
DUPONT, Wash. (UPI) -- A demonstration by the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church in Washington state was interrupted by dozens of counter-protesters dressed as zombies.
When condemned to Hell by the Westboro family, the zombies simply pointed out there clearly was no more room.
DALLAS (UPI) -- The children's nursery rhyme "Row, row, row your boat" provides the right beat for chest compressions during cardiopulmonary resuscitation, a U.S. expert says.
However care providers are reminded that, during a tragedy with multiple victims, singing in a round may be considered tasteless.
PITMAN, N.J. (UPI) -- A controversial banner reading "Keep Christ in Christmas" is making its return to a New Jersey road, officials said.
The banner celebrates the traditional "'Keep Christ In Christmas' In July" holiday.
HOPA, Turkey (UPI) -- A Turkish customs agent was busted playing video games on the job when Customs and Trade Minister Hayati Yazici came for a surprise inspection, officials said.
Thankfully his knowledge on how best to leap from boxes, swing on chains, and climb ladders helped the agent escape the warehouse and survive the boss attack.