We find today, musing about the long, ages ago past, that Kafka was right. “I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy.” Thus, the results of what may be the most depressing and ensaddening photoshop contest we've ever done: Show us the downsized, on-the-cheap Christmas party at a well-known company of your choice.
First Place - $100
Richboy455 - AIG
“My guiding principle is this: Guilt is never to be doubted.” This chop is more true than we realize! we sure cheered everyone up with this one, didn't we? hoo boy! Click pic to embiggen.
Second Place - $50
FedUpOldHag - GM
One can't help but sense the personal affront found in the series of GM party posts entered by a certain member of the photochoppers' guild. Still, we all need to remember that “Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.”
Third Place - $20
mwiseman - Viagra
Sigh. Can't really think of anything uplifting to say about this one. “In theory there is a possibility of perfect happiness: To believe in the indestructible element within one, and not to strive towards it.”
easy1 - yahoo
“It's often safer to be in chains than to be free.” Boy howdy.
tim8604 - Yahoo Party
“The meaning of life is that it stops.” Can't wait.
bpeterson82 - CitiFinancial at McD's
“In the fight between you and the world, back the world.” I have news for you, this is MORE than Citi's employees got for Christmas!
galaxip - Ford's Pink Slip Party/strong>
“You are free and that is why you are lost.” Really, really, really free!
beatfarmer - Woot's Party
“May I kiss you then? On this miserable paper? I might as well open the window and kiss the night air.” What lies within that brave, brave heart? expressionless, she stares.
jpggraphics - AIG, hold the champagne
“My peers, lately, have found companionship through means of intoxication--it makes them sociable. I, however, cannot force myself to use drugs to cheat on my loneliness--it is all that I have--and when the drugs and alcohol dissipate, will be all that my peers have as well.” Well, that and $3 billion dollars.
jcausley - Fa1l Company
“All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers is contained in the dog.” I wish that damned dog would explain this to me. Maybe it's written in that book in McGuffy's dog.
Money winners, please email your Paypal info to email@example.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to firstname.lastname@example.org. For a better shot at acquiring a monkey, you could probably buy one at the next woot-off. Even so, give your dog a good brushing, and save the hair; then do the same with your spouse. Carefully place a drop of glue on the tip of each hair you've saved, and apply it to your skin, wherever you don't already have long, thick, coarse, blackish hair. The wife can do your backside- oh, don't need it done there, eh? Once you are fully macaqued up, go to the mall, and leap from car top to car top screeching as loudly as your pathetic, smoke shriveled lungs will allo- oh, I forgot this wasn't meant for Jason. Screech as loudly as you can, as you leap from car to car. When mall security takes you in, let them know that woot.com owes you a monkey prize. We have an arrangement with that mall, see, and they'll then provide you with the secret monkey prize, the really, really good one. with the 'awesome'. Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. Until next time remember: “Leopards break into the temple and drink the sacrificial chalices dry; this occurs repeatedly, again and again; finally it can be reckoned upon beforehand and becomes part of the ceremony” hmm. maybe Kafka wasn't altogether all together, huh?