My doctor tells me that a glass of wine each day is good for my heart. Provided it isn't Pruno, of course. Of course I'm a confirmed woot wine drinker, from long ago, when we could still get that Monkey Prize wine. ah, the overtones of banana and fleas that defined that wine just don't come across these days. Still, there's business to take care of. We asked you to Show us the label for a new Woot Cellars wine designed to appeal to a not-previously-Woot-friendly demographic. Yet again, despite our using Oompa Loompas to pick and stomp the grapes, you provided us with a wonderful variety of wines:
First Place - $100
Richboy455 - Bluetooth
Aarrgh you kiddin' me?
Second Place - $50
xexus - three blind mice
See how they run!
Third Place - $20
ActorTom - NAPA valley
"Spill the wine, you get the tool"
thomasofhunter - moustachioed wine
Ah, nothing like having my own filter over my lip- no need to decant this wine!
toby8915 - Coca
Finally, a wine we can enjoy- you know, I heard they have actual cocaine in the recipe for this stuff!
devzero - Grape Leader
Ah, the fruitful valleys of North Korea.
fyrefall - Guwertztra-Miner
Ah, that white-wine lung disease, so common among these miners.
FedUpOldHag - Communion Wine
Those nuns are strangely more attractive than we remember.
turrets11 - malt wine
stunnard - Whitey's Sauvignon Blanc
As if this weren't our primary group of customers already!
Money winners, please email your Paypal info to email@example.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to firstname.lastname@example.org. All of you monkey prize winners, go out to your car RIGHT NOW. Did you get one of those minimonkey keychains? Is it in your drivers side lock? No? Why that rotten sonofa- OK, we're really, really sorry. Completely ineffective though we may be, we promise to yell and scream and rant and rave and stomp our virtual feet until something is done about this. It may be nothing more than us sending an email, begging for monkys to send out, but SOMETHING will get done. Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS for free shipping on a future order. good luck with THAT one. at least they actually will listen if you ask them nicely. Until next time remember: life isn't fair. neither is pretzel twist Cheney, but at least he's on our side.