Woot vs Amazon

by Scott Lydon

Earlier this morning we showed you how Woot is already changing Amazon's corporate culture. Well, as you all expected, Amazon immediately put their foot down and told us to knock it off. Under orders from the very very top, we now have to show the world how Woot.com will no longer be fun. So here's a photo proving our corporate employees must always be dignified and professional while representing the brand.

 

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See what a difference a few Amazon t-shirts can make? We think that, after the jump, you'll appreciate the changes. Starting today, Woot.com is a very serious place.

Nah, we're just jerkin' your chain, they don't care what the heck we do in Dallas. Which is good since, in reality, the day went like this:

 

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For our team of collectors, these limited-edition Amazon box men shirts were a must have. Like hungry wildcats, they tracked the most dangerous game and then took their shirts. Naturally the screams of "Oh, God, why won't it stop?" were covered up by the sound of our printing press, making the shirt.woot offices the best place for our angry staffers to strike.

 

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Clever service agent agingdragqueen tried to end the violence by stealing a few shirts from the bins. Sadly, she quickly learned these Amazon shirts are a rare and wonderful gift. They can't be purchased, they can only be won. So, it was back to grinding the level!

 

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After four hours of beating other staffers into a paste, the mob was sated and stylish. Here you can see the happy satisfied conglomerate of death relaxing with our in-house symbol of corporate glutto- er, that is to say, Amazon's important new investment. Rumor has it the entire deal was just a cover for the acquisition of our Ken Jennings head. You didn't hear it from us, Wall Street!

 

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Of course, fun is fun, but the office is about work! Unruly staffers must be kept in line. That's why every copy of the Woot Managerial Handbook also includes an inflatable ball. All you have to do is lure your staffers into place-

 

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-and then you take 'em down!

 

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Naturally, collapsed staffers are very easy to control. Plus, if you aim right, the fall won't leave any external bruising and that means nobody can complain to HR. See? We haven't changed our philosophy one bit.

Special thanks to Dennis, Aliki, Nathan, Trenia, Kristy and Tom for doing stupid stuff instead of working. And a warm thank you to the folks at Amazon HQ for being so welcoming to our team today, now that the deal's official. It's nice to feel so at home.