Yakima Doubledown 4 Bike Hitch

by wootbot

Not Like Mike

Way better than Mike Torrence! 

This Yakima Ace 4 Hitch Bike Rack can hold up to four bikes, which means, when it's at capacity, it is holding one bike for each consecutive time I beat Mike Torrence at ping pong last night before he quit in the middle of our fifth game and texted his girlfriend to pick him up because he'd lost his driver's license due to too many unpaid parking tickets.

A piece of equipment with that much bike-capacity must be difficult to work, right? Wrong! It features SpeedKnob, a tool-free locking device, which makes it very different than my night last night, because no night with Mike Torrence could ever be considered, "tool-free," especially when Mike is lying and calling every one of my serves a let so that he can get another ultimately fleeting chance at victory. 

You'd think that four bikes would take up a bunch of room, but that's not the case either. The Yakima Ace is very compact. Don't worry, though; its anti-sway cradles will ensure that there's no bike-to-bike contact, which is only slightly less contact than Mike Torrence's paddle made with the ping-pong ball following one of my patented Spin Slams, a move Mike claimed was illegal based on a rule he read on the internet, a claim that could not be substantiate because I had left my laptop upstairs and couldn't get online on my phone (it's a Crazr [I'm upgrading soon, just gotta wait for the right time]) and so the points stood and Mike pouted.

What I'm getting at is the Yakima Ace 4 Hitch Bike Rack is as great a product as Mike Torrence is a bad ping pong player. Which he is. He's very, very bad at ping pong. ARE YOU READING THIS, MIKE? DON'T YOU EVER WALK OUT ON ME MID-GAME AGAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND? I DON'T LEAVE BUSINESS UNFINISHED!