You Know, For Kids: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

 

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (UPI) -- Saudi Arabia says it is opposed to the creation of Internet domain addresses ending in .gay, calling it "offensive" to some societies and cultures.

Sources say the taboo is so strong that Saudi geographers only barely tolerate the existence of Uruguay.

 

Uruguay flag

 

ROMEOVILLE, Ill. (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said someone stole a tractor-trailer loaded with $24,000 worth of Frosted Flakes cereal from a repair shop.

Police have issued an APB for a silly rabbit, likely in a confused and furious state.

SANTA MONICA, Calif. (UPI) -- Cranberries are full of nutrients and antioxidants, and should not be used only on Thanksgiving, a U.S. expert says.

However no scientist has been able to find anything redeeming in Dolores O'Riordan's solo career.

 

cranberry squircle

 

BOULDER, Colo. (UPI) -- A Colorado co-founder of Crocs Inc. was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving after he was found passed out behind the wheel, police said.

Those in the know say his shoes were just SO comfortable that he was simply overwhelmed by feelings of relaxation.

GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba (UPI) -- A librarian at the U.S. base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, said demand for "Harry Potter" books has dwindled as "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" surges in popularity.

The librarian added he was originally a security guard, but then he got in one little fight and his mom got scared...

Uruguay flag from borderlys and cranberry squircle from Muffet are used under a Creative Commons License