EXT. MY HOUSE - NIGHT
Today, my home surveillance system. Tomorrow, Hollywood.
I always knew the usual paths into the movie business weren't for me. Working my way up from some crap job at a studio? Way too much work. Film school? They're all controlled by the Church of Satan - seriously, it's an open secret in the industry - plus, see what I said above about work. No, my entree into the Tinseltown Magic Factory would have to come through making independent, low-budget film so bold, so innovative, that the studio bigwigs would have no choice but to take notice.
That's where this Zmodo system comes in. For less than Stephen Tobolowsky's daily catering bill, I get four night-vision outdoor cameras with Sony CCD, an eight-channel DVR, and all the necessary cabling and power gear to capture life's rich pageant as it unfolds on the grounds of my, er, modest estate.
Whenever a heart cries out, whenever a moment turns into an eternity, whenever a raccoon eats my trash, the Zmodo Surveillance System will capture it. And the resulting epic is sure to turn me into the suburban Robert Rodriguez. This is how he got his start, you know.
Oh, you don't think so, huh? Try breaking into his house sometime and see what happens.