Returning to school was always a stressful time for me, because I was a half-witted ball of neuroses. If I could go back and visit my former self, I would say: "Sam: Cool the f%$* out, buddy." In that spirit, I've written a series of letters to my former schoolboy self, providing heartfelt advice for the new year.
Today's letters: Too Dumb To Breathe (Kindergarten through 2nd grade)
Happy Music Monday! Today's the start of Back to School week here on the blog. Yeah, we'd rather be keep talking about summer as well, but that's part of the joy of going Back to School. You've just gotta dig in and make the best of it. Scott's starting with the hymn of delinquents everywhere. You know it. Sing along!
How many hit songs have "Part 2" in the title? This smash hit set the new standard for radio hits, and it's so good that Roger Waters hasn't done anything else but tour in support of it for like two decades. Yeah, be mad all you want, it's still true. And yet, when this comes on the radio, we'll sing along with it just like you will.
Inside you'll find some more school-based music, a link to our Spotify playlist, and people telling Scott what songs he missed. Hurry inside before the bell rings!
Mortimer's excited to go back to school and finally earn that degree he may or may not have lied about already having.
Can you blame him for wishing he was living the student life again? Heck, what with our "Dealgebra" event going on this week, pretty much everyone at Woot's got at least a mild case of college fever. Or academic itch. Or back-to-schooliosis.
Some say "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." We say "Try Dealgebra 101."
That's what we're calling our weeklong session of back-to-school deals, designed to teach the most important lesson of all: cheapness. Today you'll find fantastic scholastic bargains at Woot, Tech.Woot, Kids.Woot, Home.Woot, Sport.Woot, Shirt.Woot, and, yes, even Wine.Woot (don't freak, it's not actually wine). Then Dealgebra 101 class remains in session all week long right here at Woot.
And you're probably looking for some extracurricular activities, right? You could like Woot's Facebook page for special student-friendly VIP deals all week (make sure you bring a number 2 pencil). You could keep an eye on the Woot blog for ridiculous riffs on the school experience from the remedial English students on our writing staff. And don't miss this week's Wootcast for pegagogical hijinks starring our break-room monkeys Monte and Mortimer.
Enrollment is open in Dealgebra 101 - and don't be intimidated by the name. The only Golden Rule you have to learn is "Don't spend any more gold than you have to."